New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
