If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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