just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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