so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have feelings that need drinking.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
