just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
