Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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