Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i think i just lost a toe
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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