Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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