my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
