i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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