I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
