I'm going to jail i love you
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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