You work out of a Hotel?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
