We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
50% drunk capacity currently
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
