Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
