So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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