On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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