You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
