JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
