My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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