You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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