Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
