I'm really into asian looking animals
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i drank out of a bidet.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
