I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dear god my vagina.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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