I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
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