Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize