I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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