I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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