my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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