Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
