'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
