I want to make a zoo with you.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
