She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
