youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
