i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
