I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i came on her dog
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
