I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
