My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
