at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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