Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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