If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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