do herpes really smell.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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