we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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