So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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