Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
