She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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