i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
