at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
