just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
and you fell through a lawn chair
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