Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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