I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
