Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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