Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
