My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
