i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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